Table Of Contents
The accessible toilet stand-off
Are you more disabled than me?
Who is More Disabled?
Have you ever looked at a person coming out of the disabled toilets and thought, I don’t think you’re disabled, you are just having a laugh, using the bigger toilets so you don’t have to go into the skanky ones.
Have you ever seen someone parking in the blue badge Bay and thought, you don’t look disabled, you must’ve stolen that badge, you don’t deserve to be there.
Somebody asked me the other day whether or not there’s any competition within the world of disability, do some people think they are ‘more disabled’ than others and so have more right to speak out on issues of disability? It was this that got me to thinking, is there such a thing as being ‘disabled enough’ especially in this world of hidden disabilities? and how does this relate to using public services.
Fighting Over the Scraps
If 20% of the population are disabled then there should be 20% of parking spaces, toilets and other public facilities that are designed with disabled people in mind? But in reality only a small proportion of our shared resources are accessible. Disabled people are then forced to compete for them.
If there is only one accessible parking space, it is understandable that a disabled person might feel protective of it: That space belongs to me. I need it. My life is difficult enough, so please just let me park in the one place intended for me.
But then another car pulls in. The driver gets out and walks away.
Hang on. They don’t look disabled enough.
Now imagine the situation from the driver’s point of view. She has stage 4 cancer and has just come from palliative care. She knows she has about 100 metres of walking in her before she will need to sit down, but she needs to get to the card shop to buy her mother a birthday card. She already feels unwell and is anxious about whether she can manage it. But then …
Thank God there is a Blue Badge space outside the shops.
In a properly accessible world, this confrontation might never arise and judgements would not be made. There would be enough accessible spaces for both people. The problem is not that one of them is more deserving than the other. The problem is scarcity.
The Accessible Toilet Stand-Off
Let’s take the toilet scenario.
I am rushing to an accessible toilet because I cannot wait. When I arrive, someone is already inside. Naturally, I assume it is a non-disabled person.
A few minutes pass and it’s too long for me. Eventually, a man walks out on two legs, looking perfectly fine to me. By this point, I really need to go inside, change my clothes and deal with the consequences. I am embarrassed, uncomfortable and I glare at him, and I can see he is rightly embarrassed.
But let’s look at it from his side.
Oh no. I need to find a toilet. My stoma bag is about to burst. Thank god, an accessible toilet is free.
Emptying and changing it is complicated and takes time and needs an accessible toilet. He can hear someone waiting outside but he knows he cannot hurry it always takes time. After he’s finished, he’s aware of the smell and feels embarrassed and so rushes out past the guy in the waiting wheelchair into the carpark.
But I see a man who can walk and even hurry. I do not see the stoma bag.
Once again, the real problem is not about which individual has more right to access the toilet. The problem is that there was only one accessible toilet available.
Are You More Disabled Than Me?
When people use terms such as ‘severely disabled’ I sometimes think about two imaginary people.
The first is a wealthy man with no limbs. He can afford excellent care, state-of-the-art assistive technology and reliable personal assistance. He lives in an accessible home in an area with plenty of accessible venues and transport.
The second is a man who uses a wheelchair following a smoking-related amputation. He lives in cheap rented accommodation in an upstairs flat. He relies on standard-issue NHS equipment and has sporadic, unreliable care.
Which of these two people is more severely disabled?
If we judge only by their bodies, we might choose the man with no limbs. But if we look at the barriers around them, like housing, money, equipment, care and access, the answer becomes much more obvious.
Disability is not a competition between medical conditions or impairments. People are disabled by inaccessible environments, inadequate support and the unequal distribution of money, power and resources.
Direct Your Anger Upwards
When we look suspiciously at someone using an accessible toilet or parking in a disabled bay, we should ask ourselves why we think like this … why are we randomly hating on people who are very similar to us?.
Usually, it is because there is not enough to go around. We have been left fighting one another for the scraps from the master’s table and then blaming each other when somebody else gets there first.
The person you are judging may be recovering from chemotherapy.
They may have a stoma bag, a heart condition, chronic pain, overwhelming fatigue or any number of impairments you cannot see.
And if they are not disabled? Rise above it. Be the better person.
Save your anger for the people who designed a world in which one fifth of the population is expected to compete for one accessible toilet and a handful of parking spaces.
The question is not: Who is more disabled?
The question is: Why don’t people prioritise access?
